by christy
How do you love a child so deeply that you have only known for less than 4 months? How do you feel her joy radiate when she walks in the room? How do you experience the sadness that comes when she falls down or when she leaves your home to go to another for too many times to count?
What is this love I feel? Where does it come from? And how do I escape its hold on me? And do I even want to?
I am reminded of the story of Jesus’ third appearance after his resurrection. He appeared to Simon Peter along with some of His disciples. He asked Simon Peter three times if he loved Him, each time with more passion than the last. Simon Peter responded each time with “you know I love you”. Jesus then responded, “tend my lambs”… each time more passionate than the last:
15So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You ” He said to him, “Tend My lambs.” 16He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.”
17He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You ” Jesus said to him, “Tend My sheep.” John 21:15-17 (NASB)
I read this as a subject so important to Jesus that Simon Peter needed to understand the need for him to carry out this task and to share this experience with others. It was imperative that Simon Peter assume the responsibility of this task.
When I ask the above questions, I think to myself….am I even capable of loving this child the way that she needs and deserves to be loved? I believe the answer is a resounding “yes!”, not because of me, not because of my credentials, not because of the emotional love I have for this child. No, it is because of the love that Jesus has for his children…a passionate, intimate love that no one can duplicate. I believe that love is within me, as His child and He has given me the incredible opportunity to share that love with the child he has chosen to place in our home, for the time she is there, however long or short that may be.
I am blessed far more than I deserve, but know that in the responsibility, I find joy and complete contentment in tending His little lamb…
February 11th, 2008 at 9:18 am
When my second daughter was born I was really afraid that I would not have enough room in my heart to love her as much as I did my first daughter. The first one was so special; she still is! After having her, I realized how foolish my thinking was.
My fear was justified, I think, but only to the degree that my love has limits. The love of Christ knows no bounds and He is who enables me to love them with His love.
I have been greatly blessed by this post! Thanks for sharing your heart, Christy. I am praying for the day when she is fully yours!
February 11th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Thanks Tony
It is amazing how God gives us all that we need to love His children. I’m glad you shared your story as well…
Continue to pray as we are nearing the next court date. Hopefully, this will be the one that will give us some answers!
God bless you and your family