Love Each Child

Some Reflections on a Dream Coming True

by steve

This week has been surreal on many levels. As word has spread about our news regarding Hope Giver, the emails, comments, and offline conversations have continued to remind me that this is real. It’s really happening.

This weekend feels weird, because Hope Giver spent the past week with us and has gone back to her former foster home for the weekend. This is the first time we have sent her back where the roles are reversed. And this time it’s not “I wonder when we’ll get to see Hope Giver again.” Instead, it’s “our daughter is not here with us this weekend.”

“Our daughter” — I can’t tell you what those words do to me. For so, so many years, I have longed for a daughter. And now, I finally have one! And a very precious, sweet one at that.

Surprisingly, she is transitioning quite well to calling us “mommy” and “daddy”. We have a picture of the four of us that we had taken at the end of December — a “family” picture taken in advance of knowing for certain that we would become a family. Once or twice a day, we take that picture off the shelf and ask her to point to each person. “Where’s Mommy?” and she points to Christy. “Where’s Daddy?” and she points to me. She’s catching on real fast, although occasionally she’ll look a little confused.

One of my favorite times each day is when Christy gets home around lunch time from her work, and I see the car pull in the driveway. “Mommy’s home,” I happily announce to Hope Giver. And her face lights up. “Mommy!” she says, clapping her hands, and then she runs to the door to watch Christy come up the stairs of the porch. Soooooo cute!

She’s a very special girl. And yes, I’m already wrapped around her finger! But it’s so amazing to me how much changes in such a short time. When she was here on Monday during the court hearing, we still didn’t know for sure if she would be ours permanently. And we didn’t know for sure if we’d even find out that day.

Now, there’s no more waiting to know. She’s ours. And I keep pinching myself. Is it really happening?

Transition is moving fast. This weekend, she’s with her former foster family. Next weekend will be the same. And that’s it. Wow. I never expected it to happen so fast. And this coming week, the social worker who is handling the adoption will be coming to meet with us and start the paperwork.

Pray for her former foster family. They are very special to us, and my heart aches for them. They are giving up a part of their family. They have watched her grow from infancy until now. They have been her family. I even fear that writing these things that I’m feeling about Hope Giver may add to their pain, even though that’s never my intention. But I want them to eventually be a part of Hope Giver’s life. As grandparents…and aunts and uncles…as very special people in her life. So pray for them during this painful transition time. Pray that the peace of God will fill their home and hearts.

Pray for us, too. This is an adjustment. Life is very different now. It really is a dream come true, but one cannot underestimate the changes that take place when you go from two parents and a teenager to a family of four that includes a toddler.

Pray for our son as he adjusts to not being an only child now. He loves Hope Giver, and she loves him. But I know it’s an adjustment for him. Even during our homeschool efforts, he doesn’t get our 100% attention anymore. We’re keeping one eye on her as she plays and explores and continually tries to grab things that she shouldn’t! I know this is a very good change for him, but pray that he continues to stay focused and doesn’t allow it to cause jealousy or frustration.

Probably most importantly, pray for Hope Giver. While she is transitioning very well, there still has to be a bit of confusion for her. Toys that have always been at the other home are now here. And “Uncle Steve” and “Aunt Christy” are now “Daddy” and “Mommy”. Pray that she will continue to transition smoothly.

Thank you all for your well-wishes and encouraging comments. We will keep you posted on the adoption process, although there may be long stretches of time where we just don’t have any new information. But we’ll at least try to continue to post events and milestones and things about our little daughter as she grows and settles in to our family.